"Please Be Patient With Me" is a song by Wilco. Below, you will find the YouTube Video of the song. Please watch it, but I warn you, it may bring tears to your eyes. My husband shared the song with me this evening as we were discussing our situation in relation to that of Will and Emma on the episode of Glee entitled "Yes/No." I happened to be watching that episode this evening on Hulu. OCD is not exactly the same as depression, but it is a mental illness. I told my husband that if I knew that I was going to have to go through these struggles again, that I would do it all over again. He then shared this appropriate song with me.
I had been floating around the idea of writing a blog and the song moved me to start it this evening, dedicating the title of my blog to the title of the song.
It is not easy when you love someone with a mental illness, but life is not meant to be fair. We will all go through our own trials and tribulations. We will have success and failure. We need to show compassion through amazing patience. Definitely not my strong suit, but we all need it.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
The Story Behind The Blog
Hi and welcome to my new blog. I wanted to start this blog because this year my husband and I went through hell and I felt like I was alone. I didn't know who to turn to and I didn't feel like I could discuss depression with those who were around me, for fear we would lose what little respect we have gathered so far as young adults. There was some information on the Internet about people going through what we were experiencing, but most people were resentful and hateful. That was not what I needed to help me see this bad patch through. So, I wanted to start a place where you can find hope and helpful tips to help you get through your own depression-infused hell. I don't want you to feel like you are alone. I want you to seek help.
Here's our story: Just three months after our beautiful wedding, my husband, Z, started to slip into his depression. He has been struggling with depression for 12 years, but suddenly, the medicine stopped working and he went deep: anger, anxiety, sadness and pain. After seeking help as soon as we recognized the symptoms, and trying two different medications the traditional way, three months had passed and he wasn't getting better. It was Christmas. Then came the suicidal thoughts... and the partial-hospitalization program. Ups and downs... and then the real hospital. The psych ward. 12 days of only visiting between 6 and 8pm, 12 days of more uncertainty, 12 days of loneliness. Just this past Monday (1/23/2012) he came home. Back into a day program to help him transition back into regular life. There is still uncertainty, but there is more hope. His mood has stabilized and he has some hope. A miracle, for sure. We will struggle with his depression for the rest of our lives, but we just need to take life one day at a time... together.
And so I begin this blog, dedicated to my husband, who wishes he never had to put me through the hell we've been crawling through. I'm sure your loved ones also think the same. It hurts them that they are hurting you.
Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional. I am just a young bride trying to reach out to those who have similar struggles to mine. I am offering up advice from my personal and trying experiences as I watched my husband sink deeper into his depression. These things helped me or were things I wished I would have known before I had to experience them.
This is not a place to bring others down, but to lift them up. We all need a support system to get us through the messes life brings us. Please refrain from negative husband-bashing (or wife-, daughter-, or other person-bashing). This is a place to offer hope and love in situations when we feel we are lacking those.
Here's our story: Just three months after our beautiful wedding, my husband, Z, started to slip into his depression. He has been struggling with depression for 12 years, but suddenly, the medicine stopped working and he went deep: anger, anxiety, sadness and pain. After seeking help as soon as we recognized the symptoms, and trying two different medications the traditional way, three months had passed and he wasn't getting better. It was Christmas. Then came the suicidal thoughts... and the partial-hospitalization program. Ups and downs... and then the real hospital. The psych ward. 12 days of only visiting between 6 and 8pm, 12 days of more uncertainty, 12 days of loneliness. Just this past Monday (1/23/2012) he came home. Back into a day program to help him transition back into regular life. There is still uncertainty, but there is more hope. His mood has stabilized and he has some hope. A miracle, for sure. We will struggle with his depression for the rest of our lives, but we just need to take life one day at a time... together.
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| June 2011 |
Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional. I am just a young bride trying to reach out to those who have similar struggles to mine. I am offering up advice from my personal and trying experiences as I watched my husband sink deeper into his depression. These things helped me or were things I wished I would have known before I had to experience them.
This is not a place to bring others down, but to lift them up. We all need a support system to get us through the messes life brings us. Please refrain from negative husband-bashing (or wife-, daughter-, or other person-bashing). This is a place to offer hope and love in situations when we feel we are lacking those.
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